jeudi 10 novembre 2011

ToDay with E.G: Start with the right paradgim! Part 3

Stephen R. Covey from Wikipedia
Today I am sharing few words from Stephen Covey's book - the 7 habit of highly effective people. The essence of what is shared is that you need a game plan when you want to make some profound change. I am suggesting that you use endurance during the changing process and don't be tempted to drop out of the course even if you meet obstacles or if you some times fail. Instead of dropping the project, change your approach, your worldview or your paradigm rather. Remember that change is a process. Change take time. Some changes are like growth, it doesn't happen in a day. And growth is not instantaneous. Embrace this paradigm and realistic view of life and the process will be bearable. If you ignore this paradigm then you might never be able to see it through nor experience a profound change. Jesus didn't bring the amazing changes in His life overnight. The historical sources from the first century reveals that to us. Here is one: "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." (Luke 2:52)

Start with the right paradigm and everything else will naturally follow and fall to place in your life. But what are those paradigm anyway? I invite you to sit and relax as you read what follows below:

A simple way to understand paradigms is to see them as maps. We all know that "the map is not the territory." A map is simply an explanation of certain aspects of the territory. That's exactly what a paradigm is. It is a theory, an explanation, or model of something else. Suppose you wanted to arrive at a specific location in central Chicago. A street map of the city would be a great help to you in reaching your destination. But suppose you were given the wrong map. Through a printing error, the map labeled "Chicago" was actually a map of Detroit. Can you imagine the frustration, the ineffectiveness of trying to reach your destination?

You might work on your behavior -- you could try harder, be more diligent, double your speed. But your efforts would only succeed in getting you to the wrong place faster. You might work on your attitude -- you could think more positively. You still wouldn't get to the right place, but perhaps you wouldn't care. Your attitude would be so positive, you'd be happy wherever you were. The point is, you'd still be lost.

The fundamental problem has nothing to do with your behavior or your attitude. It has everything to do with having a wrong map. If you have the right map of Chicago, then diligence becomes important, and when you encounter frustrating obstacles along the way, then attitude can make a real difference. But the first and most important requirement is the accuracy of the map.

Each of us has many, many maps in our head, which can be divided into two main categories: maps of the way things are, or realities, and maps of the way things should be, or values.

The glitter of the personality ethic [what i called secondary traits in part2 of Today with E.G], the massive appeal, is that there is some quick and easy way to achieve quality of life -- personal effectiveness and rich, deep relationships with other people -- without going through the natural process of work and growth that makes it possible It's symbol without substance. It's the "get rich quick" scheme promising "wealth without work."

And it might even appear to succeed -- but the schemer remains. The personality ethic is illusory and deceptive. And trying to get high-quality results with its techniques and quick fixes is just about as effective as trying to get to some place in Chicago using a map of Detroit.

From Wikipedia
In the words of Erich Fromm, an astute observer of the roots and fruits of the personality ethic. Today we come across an individual who behaves like an automaton, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person that he knows is the person that he is supposed to be, whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, whose synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter, and whose sense of dull despair has taken the place of genuine pain. Two statements may be said concerning this individual. One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon this earth.

In all of life, there are sequential stages of growth and development. A child learns to turn over, to sit up, to crawl, and then to walk and run. Each step is important and each one takes time. No step can be skipped. This is true in all phases of life, in all areas of development, whether it be learning to play the piano or communicate effectively with a working associate. It is true with individuals, with marriages, with families, and with organizations. We know and accept this fact or principle of process in the area of physical things, but to understand it in emotional areas, in human relations, and even in the area of personal character is less common and more difficult. And even if we understand it, to accept it and to live in harmony with it are even less common and more difficult. Consequently, we sometimes look for a shortcut, expecting to be able to skip some of these vital steps in order to save time and effort and still reap the desired result.

This principle can be easily understood by remembering Aesop's fable of the Goose and the Golden Egg.

This fable is the story of a poor farmer who one day discovers in the nest of his pet goose a glittering golden egg. At first, he thinks it must be some kind of trick. But as he starts to throw the egg aside, he has second thoughts and takes it in to be appraised instead. The egg is pure gold!The farmer can't believe his good fortune. He becomes even more incredulous the following day when the experience is repeated. Day after day, he awakens to rush to the nest and find another golden egg. He becomes fabulously wealthy; it all seems too good to be true.

But with his increasing wealth comes greed and impatience. Unable to wait day after day for the golden eggs, the farmer decides he will kill the goose and get them all at once. But when he opens the goose, he finds it empty. There are no golden eggs -- and now there is no way to get any more. The farmer has destroyed the goose that produced them.
This quite lengthy excerpt from Dr. Covey's book is a good reminder of the saying: "every good things come to those who wait". So don't be in hurry to see immediate changes. Don't kill the goose because you didn't wanna wait! It might take you some times before your character is fully formed but don't drop the commitment by sheer impatience. Keep focusing on your pro-activity during this month. The reward can only be greater than previously expected.

May the Lord Bless You abundantly in Jesus' name.

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