mercredi 9 novembre 2011

ToDay with E.G: Which habits have you considered? Part 2

I was thinking about what i wrote yesterday on ToDay with E.G- part1 with regards to the last Saturday exposition i gave, and i realized that i didn't specify something. I said that we needed to incorporate some behaviors and Habits into our characters and personalities but i omitted to tell you about the primary and the secondary traits. Focus first on the primary traits and then you can consider the secondary traits. Here is how Stephen R. Covey puts it:

I am not suggesting that elements of the personality ethic -- personality growth, communication skill training, and education in the field of influence strategies and positive thinking -- are not beneficial, in fact sometimes essential for success. I believe they are. But these are secondary, not primary traits.

To focus on technique is like cramming your way through school. You sometimes get by, perhaps even get good grades, but if you don't pay the price day in and day out, you'll never achieve true mastery of the subjects you study or develop an educated mind. You always reap what you sow; there is no shortcut.

Many people with secondary greatness -- that is, social recognition for their talents – lack primary greatness or goodness in their character. Sooner or later, you'll see this in every long-term relationship they have, whether it is with a business associate, a spouse, a friend, or a teenage child going through an identity crisis. It is character that communicates most eloquently. As Emerson once put it, "What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I cannot hear what you say." There are, of course, situations where people have character strength but they lack communication skills, and that undoubtedly affects the quality of relationships as well. But the effects are still secondary.
So remember that you want to make a lasting change, changes that count and that really matter. I am reminded of a comment i heard once about marriage. The comment goes like this: "When we are young and in our youth we tend to over-value appearances in our marital choices such as physical appearance, social status, financial status, etc -- however when we grow older we value character such as loyalty, friendship, kindness, patience etc. in our partner" This tells me that as we mature we realize that we can't just build our life around secondary traits. The primary traits are what really matters. If one has to lack - God forbid that we have to face that choice but if it had to happen - then the primary traits should never be sacrifice for the secondary unless we don't mind living a life of regrets which is O.K with me if that is what you want. So forget techniques for now, i mean for this month, and focus on divine values and virtues. That is where your focus should be. Remember this for the rest of the month.

Let me suggest a short list of those qualities from John Maxwell's book "Developing The Leaders Around You" and i am sure you can also add some more:

1. Positiveness: the ability to work with and see people and situations in a  positive way.
NB: This is slightly different of positive thinking which usually is only based on possible whims and wishes.

2. Servanthood: the willingness to submit, play team ball, and follow the leader.
3. Growth potential: a hunger for personal growth and development; the ability to keep growing as the need expands
4. Follow-through: the determination to get the job done completely and with consistency
5. Loyalty: the willingness to always put the leader and the organization above personal desires
6. Resiliency: the ability to bounce back when problems arise
7. Integrity: trustworthiness and solid character; consistent words and walk
8. 'Big Picture' mind-set: the ability to see the whole organization and all of its needs
9. Discipline: the willingness to do what is required regardless of personal mood
10. Gratitude: an attitude of thankfulness that becomes a way of life
In brief it is things like these: integrity, humility, fidelity, temperance, courage, justice, patience, industry, simplicity, modesty, and the Golden Rule that you want to nurture in your life! I am not sure if it is Benjamin Franklin or some other old US president who incorporated these character ethics progressively in his life, and who ended up changed for good and finally found himself in the White House later on. I guess I read it in one of Dale Carnegie's books. Character ethics is also a way to success. It is not a short cut route to success, but it is certainly one!

Have a nice day and a week of purposeful change for the Glory of God!

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