The Side of Faith I Never Knew

Today's I am hosting a guest writer, Lisette Buki, who wanted to share something that she recently learned through a family tragedy she experienced. See he post below.
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The Side of Faith I Have Never known

“I order you to ask Adede or Coco about me” wrote Kunda in a WhatsApp group she and I along with some of my female cousins shared. She accompanied her puzzling order with a teasing, smiley emoticon. Kunda, Coco and Adede are all my cousins by the way, and today I will share a story specifically about Kunda.

Since the message had a teasing emoticon, I didn't expect nor gave any seriousness. I wasn't expecting any sort of aggravating news, at least, not a bad one. I initially thought, perhaps she want to inform us that her family was moving to join her husband (who has been working abroad for months) or something similar.

Following on her request or should I say her order, I contacted Adede who informed me that Kunda was from the doctor’s office and she was diagnosed with a failing liver that couldn't be cured. I later learned that it was an aggressive form of liver cancer. She was about to go to India for a second medical opinion hoping to counter the initial diagnosis. I was so shocked, I said to myself, “this cannot happen to Kunda!”

Let me tell you a bit about Kunda. She was the type of person that makes you ask yourself: “Is she a human or an angel?” At time, some family members were belatedly convinced that she was an angel who was living with us without us knowing! (smile)

I personally met Kunda in my first year of college. First year students didn't have right to have their own rooms in Campus so the trends was to look for an older person kind enough to share their rooms with new comers. Since Kunda was an elder, she had the right to have a bed in college; she was willing to share her bed with me at the requested of my elder sister. She agreed and welcomed me. The big surprise came when I noticed that she gave away her whole bed for me and a friend of hers who had nowhere to stay. She spent the whole academic year with no fixed address spending her nights sometimes at her friends’ room and sometimes back in our room (technically still her room) when one of us were absent from Campus. This type of sacrificial generosity marked me profoundly.

Kunda didn't always have an easy life. She was a survivor from the 1994 genocide against Tutsi (Rwanda). She and her two sisters were the lone survivors. She lost her parents and brothers. After this tragedy, her and her sisters moved from family to family and were not most of the time treated with loving kindness.

It is in high school that she became a Christian and a journey of transformation began for her after that encounter with Jesus Christ. Since then, she had been a devoted Christian, serving the Kingdom of God as much as she could. Later in life, her husband and her 3 beautiful children were among her most prized possession and blessings. Personally, the main thing that amazed me about Kunda was her wisdom. She was only 4 years my elder but her wisdom was impressive! I have learned so much from her, I already miss our many discussion and her many profound and insightful advises.

Alright, back to my story! 

As I said earlier, I was so shocked and heart broken by the news of deteriorating health. “This cannot happen to Kunda!” I kept saying to myself. On her way to India she requested us, in our family WhatsApp group, to keep praying that she receive a contrary diagnosis from India. Being a Christian myself, I was convinced that Kunda could not die this early at the prime of her life and that somehow God will use the cancer to miraculously heal her. We immediately organized a fasting and prayer day for that request.

Unfortunately the diagnosis was equally confirmed in India. The team of doctors didn't even suggest a treatment, save one of them who wanted to try some alternative medical treatment. This alternative treatment came as good news. We thought that was a sign of God being at work! Kunda decided to take back home her alternative treatment in order to be closed to her family. As for us, we decided to continue to pray and fast for her once a week until the day she would be healed. The prayer group took a life of its own, growing beyond the confine of the family to attract friends and the extended family. Well, matter of fact, I came to learn that others people from all over the world had joined us in prayer.

Few months later, she went back to India for check-up on the effect of the treatment. Unfortunately, the doctors realized that the treatment didn't work as well as they hoped for. The only hope we had now was a miracle from the Lord. So we continued to pray for her. During this time of prayers, we received encouraging scriptures, ‘prophesies’, dreams, etc. From our interpretation of them, we were sure that she will be healed. Kunda, herself, was so sure that she will be healed despite the ravaging work of the cancer to her body, she resumed work until the day she was physically unable to continue. Days were passing by and day by day she was getting weaker and weaker. Her doctor decided to intern her at the hospital. A week after, I was informed that she had passed away and joined her Lord that she served with such love and loyalty. I couldn't believe the news. Then I remembered the thought I had few months ago while praying for her, “God was never late. The story of Lazarus proves it”. (The story of Lazarus can be found in the bible in John 11:1-46). I was encouraged. Even before the passing of Kunda, I shared the thought with her.

Here is our conversation:

Me: Hello Sisi. When I was praying for you this morning I had this thought: God is never late… the story of Lazarus proves it. I realized from Lazarus’ story that despite the fact that Jesus loved very much Lazarus’s family, and the cry for help from Lazarus’ sisters, he decided to stay 2 more days.  Later on in the chapter he gives the reason for waiting. We all know that God deeply loves you and your family. There might surely be a reason why God is taking time but let us remember that "He is never late". Meanwhile I pray that He strengthens you and your family

Kunda: Thx lovely sis to remember me in your prayers. Thank you also for the Word... Indeed I continue to trust in the Lord, keeping the faith waiting upon Him!  

So I thought to myself, “that is not over, God will resurrect her as he did for Lazarus”. My hope was back and I started praying for that to happen. To my surprise, I wasn't the only one in our prayer group who was convinced that God will bring her back to live. Besides, her husband decided that the burial ceremony would be on Thursday (it was the day we used to pray and fast for her healing) and that Thursday coincidentally fell on the 4^th day after her death. It reminded me the story of Lazarus. For me and my folks who wouldn't let her go, it was a sign that she would come back. So we prayed and prayed earnestly.

The day of the burial arrived and the ceremonies happened as it was planned. The body of Kunda was buried and the miracle so expected didn't happen.

The realization of Kunda’s death then deemed on me, “Kunda really left us to join our Lord”. I had mixed feeling about everything. I knew I will be missing her but I was especially sad that she was gone so young leaving a husband and three young kids. At the same time, I knew she was not suffering any more, she was happy to be with her Lord she serves so faithfully and God would take care of her family. I knew from Christian theology, the dead in Christ finally rest in the presence of their Master.

In addition to my mixed emotion, I was left with one main concern I couldn't rationalize post-facto: Kunda faithfully believed until her last day that she would be physically healed. Dying was not an option for her. She believed so much that she didn't even bother to prepare her family just in case she didn't get through the illness. She relied on the many supposedly confirmation she had received from herself and others people in prayers, dreams, comforting scriptures, prophecies, etc. 

So why the promises she believed to have received did not happen?

Is God a liar? What did really happen? Perhaps we were misled on the promises received? Or they were not true? Kunda and her husband were really open to know the will of God whatever it would have been, good or bad. They told us that from the get go in our early prayer meetings. This confused and discouraged me. I started asking around but I received answers that did not satisfy my queries. It became a heavy burden. I was getting no way. I couldn't figure out God anymore.

Thanks God, my confusion didn’t last for long. Two weeks after Kunda’s death, in a bible study group, I voiced my concern once again by popping the question. “Can God promise something, and it doesn’t come to pass?”

One of the members in the Bible Study replied by sharing with me this verse:

“³⁹ These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, ⁴⁰ since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” Hebrew 11: 39-40

This scripture felt like a Eureka to me. I had read this scripture many times when praying for Kunda but never realized this portion of the chapter. It is possible that God promises you something but you do not receive it. However, from the same scripture it doesn't make God a liar since He gives you even better than the way you expected to receive the promise. “How come I never knew about it?”,

I felt so free and overwhelmed with joy. Kunda after all received more than what was promised her on this earth. ALLELUIA!

I still miss her for sure, but the idea that she received more than her physical healing brings smile on my face. I will keep that smile until the day I smile with her again and that will be for eternity.

This is the end of my story. Today I have a thought for all the heroes of faith who did not received what was promised to them but received even better according to Scriptures. 

A special tribute to Dr.Nabeel Qureshi, a brother in Christ and friend I have never met.